Finding True Love

Finding True Love

 Finding True Love

Dating and looking for True Love

Have you found your True love? What you have been doing so far, how has that been working for you? I’m assuming not great or you wouldn’t be reading this. Please give this a chance and read to the end.
The first rule of dating is no sex. If you are about to stop reading this, you will miss the best relationship you will ever find.

Once you get married it’s like the movie,” Sweet Home Alabama” where the girl says, ” Why do you want to marry me anyway?” and the boy replies, “so I can kiss you anytime I want.”
The marriage bed is not defiled Hebrews 13:4 … some things are worth the wait. Waiting can mean the difference between a short defiled relationship and one that could last forever.

Yes, some marriages lasted even though they had sex before marriage but it’s normally the couples who were already in love and planned on being with that person long-term anyway and this is not the norm.
You see the truth is people can always find someone who is willing to have sex with them. If you are looking for something special keep reading.
I used to watch millionaire matchmaker, I was very surprised by the advice she gave because it was similar to what my grandmother would have said. I grew up in a Christian home and was taught that sex before marriage was wrong.

The normal secular relationships even on television show people casually having sex. There is nothing casual about having sex with someone, it should be an intimate experience and should not be something you do with whoever you are with.

  If you want true love and something better than most people have you need to approach dating in a different way.
The millionaire matchmaker told them you want to stand out, not just be a dime a dozen. You want them to value who you are. I know this was about millionaires but it applies to everyone especially now in the day and age we live in.

Guidelines For Finding True Love 

1 Don’t lead with sensuality, these people are used to having sex with anyone they want. If you start with this kind of thinking you will be a dime a dozen and nothing special.
2 You begin with a plan, think about the kind of partner you want to spend the rest of your life with, write it down. As you date begin to look for these qualities but do not rush it… people can put their best foot forward for a long time. One huge qualification for a successful marriage is sharing the same belief system.
3 Make up your mind that you will get to know the person… their hobbies, personality, favorite color, foods, places … find out about their families and what they want in a partner. What their temperament is like, do not take for granted that other people think the way you do. Ask questions, that’s how you get answers.
4 You go on dates to public places, I do not drink but if you do, you are only allowed one drink… preferably no drinks because it can cloud your judgment and possibly ruin your progress.
5 Do not spend time alone, do not go to each other’s homes or where you will be totally alone. You do not want to create a situation where you may give in to temptations. Remember your goal is more important.
6 Remind yourself your goal is to become friends first, and at some point, friendship can lead to a commitment and a commitment between best friends can be true love that can last a lifetime.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be married to your best friend, a person that you share interests, goals, and passions?  Sounds like a fairy tale but it’s attainable if you are willing to display some self-discipline and self-control. It will be worth it in the end.

Do not fall for the television movies where people fall into bed on the first date and live happily ever after.

The truth, in reality, is that this usually ends in a one-night stand more often than not, void of respect and usually leads nowhere. The worst-case scenario is an unexpected pregnancy or unwanted STD. You are looking for love that lasts.
A reality check for those in junior high and high school… most people do not marry their high school sweetheart. Do not give yourself away as though it doesn’t matter…because it does.
I love watching Growing Up Bates it’s a reality program about a Christian family and their values. The girls in the family do not date just anyone who asks them… they have standards.

They date with a purpose, the person has to meet certain requirements.  These standards actually lead to some wonderful and romantic courtship’s. Watch Carlin and Evans courtship it is amazing. Then Josey’s engagement was also amazing… these men seem to adore these girls.

Erin has 3 children and her husband still wants to please her and treats her like a princess true love will last and grow. this link will show the full episode of Carlyn and Evans Courtship, so romantic.. Carlyn and Evans romantic courtship

What is True Love

True love begins by having your mind made up that true love is not about lust but about a relationship. Yes, there is usually a physical attraction but there has to be more than that.

That feeling you have when you first start falling in love is not how you gauge whether you are still in love or not. Some people move on as soon as that initial feeling goes away, they are chasing a feeling. That’s why some people never settle down, they do not realize that love is deep and grows through the experiences you share and the things in life that you face together whether good or bad.
Are they there for you to encourage you when you are sick or not at your best or just there for the good times? True love is committing to love and care about each other.

As you become more comfortable around each other your relationship changes but that’s not a bad thing. When you see the old couple strolling hand in hand it’s because they realized what is truly important.

You will not always look like you do now, youth fades, so definitely do not just base it off physical attraction. 

Keeping True Love Alive
Once you do get married don’t let the devil make you think the grass is greener somewhere else, especially if you married at a young age. He will make you think you missed out… ask yourself… what if I had dated more people, would that have made me happier… most likely not. Just ask anyone who is still single and really wants to be in a relationship with someone who really cares about them. Most people would trade all the people they have dated in the past for just one person that truly loves them.

Everyone experiences differences and disagreements in relationships.  Just because you are different doesn’t mean you are not meant for each other… opposites attract and can compliment each other.  What you lack they have and what they lack you have so it’s like a puzzle you need both pieces to make it work. We must appreciate each other’s differences, it will make our lives better.
Focus on good qualities do not dwell on the things that you do not feel are their best quality because we all, yes even you, have flaws or qualities that may not be fun to be around sometimes. This is where we show mercy and grace to each other. Every relationship experiences ups and downs so do not throw in the towel.
I am not referring to physically abusive relationships that is a different matter.
People who love you should never cause you physical harm. 

Also, a good relationship isn’t just about you finding the right person but it’s also about being the right person. A relationship is about sharing and caring for each other. Some people only focus on what someone else does for them, that’s selfish. Marriage is about taking care of each other, best friends are always there for each other. 

The Bible says what God has joined together, let no man tear apart Matthew 19:6. The devil will send someone along to try to destroy what you already have by making you think it’s not good enough. He doesn’t point out that many people have fallen for this trick and have lost the person God put them with. The person he sent to use as bait or as a lure will only like you until they get you and then they will move on.

If you have been married for a long time don’t lose what you have because of the thoughts and lies the devil places in your mind… some people that got married when you did have already divorced. You can destroy your marriage or relationship with your own hands Proverbs 14:1. 

The grass is actually greener where it’s watered the most. In other words where its taken care of.  Feelings are affected by our health and other physical issues so don’t  throw a relationship away based off how you feel at times. Feelings can be fickle and change from time to time. 

Be a person that is responsible and reliable.  Make an effort to take care of one of the most precious gifts you can have…your spouse, your relationship, your marriage.  

Ideas for Date Nights on a Budget
Marriage takes work, do things together and find new things to enjoy together. Do not go in debt trying to keep each other happy, that’s not true love. It’s more about spending time together.
Think of ways to spend time together that don’t cost a lot.
Date night can be simple things:
*Plan and cook a meal together, listening to music and talking.
*If you have a fireplace and its winter this is a great place to eat a meal together, just talking, or add some music.
*Watch a movie together while eating some homemade popcorn, cocoa or your favorite snack.
*Go for a walk together at a nearby park.
*Work out together
*Do a day trip and take a picnic
*Take a trip down memory lane drive to some of those areas.
*Cookout on the grill, eat on the deck have music and candlelight.
*Choose a nice restaurant and have dessert.
* Go to a coffee shop and try a new flavor or cocoa
* Take a ride in the country do some exploring

*Save up and go on a weekend retreat together
*Putt-Putt or bowling.
*You may enjoy putting a puzzle together, or playing card or board games
*If you have a pool area, floating in the pool on floats, holding hands listening to music at night can be fun.
*Sit around a fire pit in your backyard, music optional… make smores or have a warm drink.
*Go to a seasonal festival together, most towns have them.
*If you enjoy sports, go to a sporting event together. It does not have to be a major league game, you could attend a game at a nearby high school.
*If you enjoy plays and do not have the budget to go to the ballet, most small towns have a ballet company that has events that are inexpensive and usually are very well done.
*Attend church events together
You can think of things to do that include things you both enjoy, custom-made dates.

True love is worth the wait. Be kind to one another.
I met my true love at church, our marriage is built on our belief in God and what the word of God says. God was my matchmaker.  Be selective in where you meet people.
Remember no one is perfect, you, me or anyone else on earth.

Allow for differences and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Whether you have found the right person, are still looking, dating, engaged or married I pray and wish you love, joy and a happily ever after.


Love is worth the work,
She Chose Grace